YES! I have come to realize that that is much of the problem with my mother and why she hates me. I say hate because she does hate me. She claims many times in a course of a day that I hate her. I have never ever said anything like that to her. In fact I have said the opposite and she then calls me a liar. She then says I hate her. She has been claiming that as far back as I can remember. Literally when I think back to first grade. I can remember her claiming that then and continuing to say that all the years of my life up to present day.
I began to take my child to a couselor because of all the stress we have had since we moved in with her a year ago. Yes…we moved in at her request when my father died. The counselor talks with me the first 15 minutes of the session in regards to status in the house as it relates to my child. In no uncertain terms….she immediate sumized that my mother was and is jealous of me. That is the root of the problem. That is why she has a problem with the people I know, talk to, things I do with the people I know, things I like, the clothes I wear. She has a problem with everything I do, wear, say, people I know, things I do, work, school, chuch, books I read, tv I watch….literally everything. She hates it all.
I was not convinced initially by what the couselor said, but over the last month I have considered it and looked at my mother that way and it is true. She is jealous of me. The only thing that comes out of her mouth as far as words is hatred. She claims everyone hates her but it is her feelings projected onto others. She puts up obstacles and roadblocks whenever we are in social settings at church or around the people I have a connection with. There is always a fight after and it is always about her and some imaginary slight she feels I have done to her or that others have done to her.
The only way to fight the green eyed monster is to get away from it. There is no way to control it as she has to be the one to recognize it and control it. She has no control. Tearing others down to build herself up is the only thing she knows. Our option? We have to move I do believe. It is the only way for me and my child to be happy again and at peace. And to feel at home in our own place. We have to go and very soon.